LESSON THIRTY SIX (36)
TOPIC: BRIDGING MARITAL GAPS
SUNDAY SCHOOL HYMN
1. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
O how I love Thee well,
I am happy, it makes me glad
To rejoice at Thy birth.
2. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
Thy friend friendship suits me well,
Both young and will sing Thy song,
We long for Sunday School.
3. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
Christ was Thy first teacher,
The Holy Spirit, great teacher,l
Does manifest in thee.
4. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
This testimony is sure,
That God, the Father Almighty,Ooo
Poured His blessing on Thee
5. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
Though the sun be so bright,
Or if the clouds be black with rain,
I’ll be in Sunday School.
6. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day
I rejoice to see Thee,
Will thou pass over me today?
Without my being blest?
OPENING PRAYER: Almighty Father, we pray that every family will continuously drive away devil from their family through the guidance of Your words and the Holy Spirit.
BIBLE PASSAGE: 1 CORINTHIANS 7:1-40.
[1]Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
[2]Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
[3]Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
[4]The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
[5]Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
[6]But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
[7]For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.
[8]I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.
[9]But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.
[10]And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
[11]But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.
[12]But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
[13]And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
[14]For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
[15]But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
[16]For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
[17]But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
[18]Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
[19]Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God.
[20]Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.
[21]Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather.
[22]For he that is called in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant.
[23]Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men.
[24]Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.
[25]Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the Lord to be faithful.
[26]I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be.
[27]Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.
[28]But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.
[29]But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none;
[30]And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not;
[31]And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away.
[32]But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:
[33]But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
[34]There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
[35]And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
[36]But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.
[37]Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.
[38]So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better.
[39]The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
[40]But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.
MEMORY VERSE: “Neither give place to the devil” Ephesians 4:27.
INTRODUCTION: God is the author of marriage (Gen.2:24) He designed it to bring glory to His name and also for man to enjoy. However many marriages today are not conforming to the will of God. Rather than bringing pleasure, many marriages are full of pains and tales of woes because of human choices made contrary to biblical blue prints. In this lesson we shall unravel some of the gaps prevalent in some marriages leading to unfaithfulness among couples.
TEXT REVIEW: 1 Corinthians 7:1-40.
Teacher should find out any five directives which God gave the believer on marital bond from 1Corinthians 7:1-15.
i. ——————————————————————–
ii. ——————————————————————
iii. ——————————————————————
iv. ——————————————————————
v. ——————————————————————
LESSON OUTLINES:
1. FORMS OF MARITAL GAPS
2. SOME PRACTICAL WAYS TO BRIDGING THE GAPS
LESSON OUTLINE 1: FORMS OF MARITAL GAPS
i. Teacher should ask students to mention those factors which could bring gap between husband and wife.
ii. Teacher should explain the points in Outline 1 as stated below:
a. Locational gaps: Long periods of absence, whether travelling for work or serving in the military, greatly reduces the opportunities for couples to properly bond. Examples are the Portiphars (Gen.39:5-7) and the Uriahs (2Sam.11). Long-distance marriage is not ideal.
b. Emotional Gaps: The feeling of insecurity and loneliness, whether emotional, physical or sexual, can create a gap between couples. The search for excitement to escape boredom and experiment with new things like adopting new hobbies or hanging out with new friends can affect the relationship between spouses.
c. Poor Boundaries: Poor personal boundaries, or the limits we place on other people as to what we find or unacceptable, can also result in marital gap.
d. Revenge: the desire to pay back the wrong doing of a partner in the ‘same coin’ can result in marital gap.
e. Sexual Gaps: Many partners in marital relationship are not enjoying sex or getting satisfaction sexually. They are only enduring and coping because their spouses are not sensitive to their sexual needs. Be it husband or wife, having an uninteresting sex life could put your relationship at risk of infidelity.
f. Financial Gaps: When the financial orientation of the couple differs and both parties fail to reach a compromise as to how money should be managed, there is bound to be conflict which may negatively affect the union.
g. Physical/Physiological Gaps: There are also situations where a couple do not pay attention to each other or do not like to go out together or have a passionate relationship, eventually, one or both of them look outside their relationship for someone whom they want to be with. (Mal.2:14-16).
h. Communication Gaps: communication is one of the most fundamental components of a successful relationship. If you cannot talk to your Spouse and listen to what he or she has to say, you will have a hard time making it through the difficult hurdles in your marriage. Not being able to share secrets, stories and feelings with their spouses can lead some people to open up to others emotionally.
i. Excessive use of the internet and social media: Connecting with other people and talking or chatting with them for hours at length at home, work or even in some public spaces at the expense of your spouse can extend the gap in your relationship.
CLASS ACTIVITY 1: Can you say marital gaps is increasing or decreasing in our societies?
LESSON OUTLINE 2. SOME PRACTICAL WAYS TO BRIDGING THE GAPS
i. Teacher should allow/encourage students who had experienced marital gaps before to share their experiences on how they were able to bridge the gap. They could also narrate their bitter plight during those periods.
ii. Teacher should explain the points as stated in Lesson Outline 2 below:
a. Avoid living separately in the name of job offer or searching for ‘greener pasture’.
b. Understand your spouse’s love language i.e. ask and do things that make them want to be with you the more e.g. holding of hands.
c. Go out together on dates; visit other families, friends and colleagues together.
d. Commend the good things your spouse does.
e. Condemn what is bad in love (not the person but the act) and apologize correctly. Give no room to the devil. (Eph. 4:27).
f. Handle matters discreetly and immediately.
g. Celebrate each other, exchange gifts regularly
and create a conducive atmosphere for God’s presence in your homes. (Ps.133:1).
CLASS ACTIVITY 2:What role does communication gap play in marital gap?
SUMMARY: Avoid marital gaps
CONCLUSION: Marriages succeed on intentional effort and purposeful choices made by the partners to make it heaven on earth.
EVALUATION: What are the causes and remedies to marital gaps?
CLOSING PRAYER: Almighty Father, please send Your wisdom to couples on how to bridge all manners of marital gaps in Jesus’ name.
ASSIGNMENT: Identify any five (5) reasons marital bond should be embraced or why marital gaps should be avoided.
